You may have moved to a new city, divorced or encountered some other unexpected event that caused the separation of yourself from your loved ones. It happens and there are many justifications as to why a person may have lessened their social contacts from the past year. There are many reasons why people find themselves feeling lonely at this time of year.
You are not the only lonely person out there. There are quite a few others in exactly the same situation as you. Christmas is usually one of the happiest times of the year but when you find yourself alone during the holidays it can be a very lonely time of year. It is generally a season of joy, love and giving but when you are single it can also be a holiday that can leave you feeling blue. Fortunately Father Time is a wonderful old soul and he gives us 12 months each year to prepare for the upcoming holidays.
Don't pack Christmas away in the closet and decide that you are not going to celebrate it this year. If you have not developed a plan for Christmas yet then now is the time to do so. Let's figure out what you can do to make the season a little more cheerful. Being single or alone during the Yuletide should never steal away your holiday spirit even if you do find yourself celebrating solo this year. There are still hundreds of ways for you to enjoy the holiday. You just have to discover those that works best for you.
Christmas is a lot like smiling. You may not feel like doing it but once you start it has a funny way of forcing you to feel good inside. So make a commitment to yourself to enjoy the holiday season this year. Find satisfaction in each experience that comes your way, create new holiday traditions for yourself, discover ways to increase your social skills so in future years you won't feel quite so alone. You will have to devise your own unique Christmas traditions as you know best your personal needs. You may want to drop bird seed at a local park, visit your local seniors centre with small gifts, build a snow man at your local park, or decorate a tree with edible bird treats in an area that is visible from a roadway. You could attend a church service or a charity dinner. It is your holiday and you will be the one to figure it out which activities will increase your enjoyment of it.
There are Many Reasons to Feel Isolated
You may have recently moved
A friend or loved one may have recently moved
You may be a student who is away from home
You may have recently separated
You may have recently experienced a death in the family
You may have had a weak social network, are shy, a bit of a loner, or have an introvert personality.
Perhaps you have just slowly had your circle of close contacts narrow over time. It happens.
As the holiday season draws near prepare a list of people who you can send a holiday greeting card. This list could include family, co-workers, friends, and even acquaintances who have shown you a kindness or good service throughout the past year. This gesture of well wishes to others during the holiday season is very important. Sending greeting cards is a visible way of reminding yourself that you are not as alone as you may have at first thought.
By bringing yourself emotionally closer to those who are distanced from you they can feel physically nearer. This reaching out across the miles helps to visibly show that you are not really alone, there are people out there who care about you. If your special people are far away then bring them a little closer by sending out Christmas cards, writing a letter, or talking to them via the phone or internet. Call the distant cousin or friend who you haven't spoken to in quite some time. They may appreciate that call.
This year make each person that you know count. This may be the perfect opportunity to dig deep into your abundance of acquaintances to find people you can offer up seasonal greetings to. The process of acknowledging the people around you with a holiday greeting is a great way of bringing these acquaintances just a little bit closer to you. Christmas is a time to surround yourself with holiday cheer but it can also be the perfect time of year to make new friends.
Do up a card for your paper boy, pharmacist, doctor's office, and any other associates who gave you good service this past year. You can even pass cards along to your favourite grocery store, department store, and city hall. Businesses appreciate receiving a positive message during the hectic holiday season.
Christmas is the ideal time to make new friends so don't allow yourself to feel abandoned during the holidays. Make eye contact with the people you encounter in the mall or out on the street. Smile and say a Merry Christmas greeting to the people you meet. Just stopping to say hi or to give a kind gesture to another person is how we begin creating new friendships.
Some animal shelters ask for individuals to take pets home with them during the holidays when staffing levels are low. Having a furry friend to spend Christmas with can really help to brighten the holidays. Don't forget that animals have feelings too, so put some special treats under your Christmas tree for them, and expect to give them plenty of love during their visit to your home. Of course what the shelter workers really hope is that you will fall in love this companion and decide to provide them with a more permanent home, but that is completely up to you.
It's a little cold to plant a new tree but you could hang a bird feeder in an old one. That would be a very nice way to celebrate the holidays. Purchase some bird feed and set it out in a feeder to give a few of the wintering birds a Christmas feast. Hang a Bird Feeder. Their song and antics can be charmingly heart warming. Bird chirps, squawks, and songs are delightful to hear. Their visits are a unique experience each time they arrive. Don't have a tree? Sprinkle some bird seed at a local park.
Check with your local radio station or newspaper to see which charitable holiday events or meals are happening in your town on Christmas day. There are places to go to ease the loneliness. Giving of yourself during the holidays is a wonderful way to take the sting off being alone. Volunteering can be a great way to warm away a case of the gloomy seasonal blues.
For Christmas you can choose go out to a local church or charity dinner, dine in on a small single serve meal, cook yourself up the full meal deal and freeze the leftovers, or accept an invitation to dinner that you have been offered by a friend or associate. There are generally quite a few ideas to select from so seek them out. Check your local paper or call the radio station to find out which options may be available for you.
Make your own Merry little Christmas. Deck the house with lights, glitter, and holly. Hang a wreath and put displays in a window so others can receive enjoyment from your holiday efforts. Put on some Christmas music and set up the tree. These traditional activities are a very important aspect of the holiday season.
Visit YouTube to Create a Holiday Playlist
A few examples of gifts which you might put under the tree would be a new calendar, a nice bottle of wine, your absolute most favourite edible treats, a package of lottery scratch tickets, a movie, puzzle books, a jigsaw puzzle, or a novel that you have been wanting to read but have not yet had the opportunity to. These are gifts that will give you something to look forward to on Christmas morning.
Many stores carry surprise packages or food baskets, it is quite easy to order one of these and place it in its parcel state under the tree. Of course there are other gift options as well, place a phone call to a few local stores and ask them to select a specifically priced gift for a person your age and sex. Smaller sized specialty stores will generally gladly comply. Many clerks are happy to do the gift shopping for you. Let Santa surprise you Christmas morning.
2. A huge container of cashews, almonds, or pistachios: I love cashews but they are quite expensive so usually only get purchased a few times each year. Nuts are one of my favourite treats. Choose the nut that you most desire and put it on your gift list. Christmas day you are going to want to spoil yourself so these treats are important.
3. After Eight Mints, Pot of Gold Chocolates, Chocolate coated cherries, Turtles and Brandy Beans: Which ever specialty brand of chocolate your little heart desires, these brands are a special treat generally reserved for this time of year and they can help to make the holidays feel unique.
4. A new notebook or journal.
5. A new calendar themed to your interests: I love the 365 page desk calendars as some of them are amazing. They can be themed with origami craft patterns, recipes, or jokes, and feature one for each day of the year. It can make every day of the year feel a little more special.
6. A large jigsaw puzzle: This is an activity that is relaxing and entertaining. Impossible to do when you own a cat as they seem to love to scatter the pieces from here to eternity but if you are a dog lover or live alone then this gift will work quite well for you.
7. A new address book for telephone or email addresses: You need a new one every few years. This gift is a great way to fill time as an old address book can tend to require quite a lot of clean up. Addresses and phone numbers tend to change throughout the years.
9. A gift of fitness: Exercise is good for the body and mind. It can be a good way to lift your spirit. A fitness watch, fitness program, elliptical machine, treadmill, weight set, indoor cycle, or gym membership are gifts of health that can bring with them a strong boost in confidence. These are items that will occupy your time and help to keep you physically and emotionally strong. Check online for ideas.
10. A surprise package: Years ago I ordered one from a Regal Catalogue and it was pretty impressive. These boxes can also often be purchased from eBay as well as a few other retailers. Can't find one? Ask a clerk at a local store if they would be willing to create one for you.
11. A gift basket: A holiday gift basket is filled with delightful little treats and can be the ideal treasure trove of surprises to put under the Christmas tree. It is an ideal gift choice for a single person even when it is an item chosen by you. These baskets contain a wonderfully wide array of items in them so there is generally always something there that even the most discerning of recipients can enjoy. You can find a variety of baskets available online or at local retailers. Check with your local florist, grocery, drug, or department stores to view the selections they have prepared this year. Gift baskets are the ideal gift for a person who is single.
a) Food basket: Grocery stores are generally the best place to pick up a foodie lovers gift basket but many online stores also carry these. The selection of items they hold within them are always a nice surprise for the recipient to enjoy.
b) Treat basket: Specialty stores are a great place for discovering a unique basket. They come in a wide variety of themes with chocolate, tea, coffee, nuts, sweets, or meats and cheeses being among some of the most popular. Visit smaller stores and see what they have prepared to surprise their customers with this season.
c) Spa basket: The items in these baskets can be quite unique so it is easy to find one to suit every personality. Enjoy a soothing soak in scented relaxation or discover an array of scented soaps and fragrances. Everyone deserves a little pampering and the holidays are the perfect time of year to enjoy this relaxing gift. Drug stores often carry a nice selection of these.
Travel Somewhere Warm Over the Holidays or Book a Stay at a Local Resort: A change in scenery may help lift your mood.
Write or publish online. There are quite a few publishing platforms and free websites on the internet and some even pay you a little pocket change to contribute to them. It can give you a hobby to fill your time and be an added bonus to voicing your thoughts. Writing out your thoughts can help you feel better and it can also provide a support network of peers to connect with. Most publishing sites also have community forums where you can go to ask questions and gain support from others who also write there.
Becoming suddenly single was a very real surprise when it happened to me. It was only a few weeks before Christmas and it brought home that this could be one that I would not enjoy. I wanted my holiday to be as normal as possible so I wracked my brain for things I could do to make my holidays a little happier. I found quite a few things I could do and a few gifts I could purchase that would still remain a surprise to me on Christmas day. Surprisingly that first Christmas wound up being a lot better than I imagined it would be.
It really is up to you to make your holidays special. Christmas shows up around this time each and every year so we have a little time to prepare. Even if you are feeling a lonely this year you can turn this around in future years. You are the only one who can decide how you will deal with this. With a little preplanning the holidays can turn out to be something you look forward to even if you are alone. Discovering a few additional ways to celebrate can be very helpful. Have yourself a very merry holiday season. Ho Ho Ho!